Monday, July 1, 2013

Ballsy Brandis.

I walked up to him at Beaches, a club everyone went to after the pub on Tuesdays, a.k.a. "Pound Night."  I said something super classy like, "come talk to me before you get too drunk."

I knew I had a crush on him & I'm not sure if we'd ever had more than one or two conversations but I knew there was something about him.

He was so cute with his dark hair & glasses, seemed incredibly funny & sweet.

So at some point in the evening, he sought me out.  I told him that I liked him & wanted to get to know him better.

We left the club early, he took me to my room, & we talked for a good three hours.  Couldn't tell you what we talked about but I remember I ran out of cigarettes & he kept giving me his.  When he left I closed the door & grinned, because I knew he was special.

In true cute boy fashion, he knocked on my door about a minute later, handed me a cigarette & said, "one for posterity?"

I'm not sure at what point we became "us" but we did.  We became a couple in every sense of the word.  We loved each other very much.  He told me things he'd never told a soul, & I couldn't imagine it ever being better.

We took professional pictures together, for goodness sakes'.  He bought me a promise ring & when we found out I was getting orders to Washington, he got as close as he could to there with his orders- San Diego.

He left before me.  He would send me these beautiful cards & letters in different colors talking about how much he loved me & how great our lives would be together.

Within probably two months of him leaving I became interested in someone else.  Someone insignificant, doesn't even earn a blog post in this story.  I broke it off with him for someone else, instead of giving love a chance.

He even came to visit me in Washington & I treated him like a friend.  Didn't give him what he wanted, needed, or deserved.

I should have.  For years I wondered about him & wished things had been different.  We were so good together, you see.  If we hadn't have been separated, we probably would have lasted.

About 4 years ago we met up on facebook & I'm happy to see that he's married now with two super cute kids.  He seems to have a good life & I'm really thankful for that.  He told me that I showed him what love really was & that he wasn't bitter over any of it.  I'm happy to hear it, I truly am.  Because I know for every heart I ever broke, I had mine broken in a worse, more painful way.  But isn't every broken heart painful?  Doesn't matter how it's broken.  Just that it is.

I'm thankful for the healer of time & the way things are supposed to play out.  All of these heartbreaks, pain, misery, & nonsense set me up for the life I was supposed to have.

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