Thursday, January 27, 2011

Home Sweet Home.

Next Friday, Sawyer & I are flying to Arizona for my Granny's 90th Birthday party.  I haven't been home since December 2008, so I am RIDICULOUSLY excited.  The only thing that would make it better would be if Tony & Cody were coming with me.  But I cannot wait to see my family & see the desert again!

Monday, January 24, 2011

I Hope He Knows.

I just put the kids down for a nap.  Tony hasn't tripped out yet but he's at work all day, the day before they trip out is their "training day", yet another day where he isn't with his family.

Yesterday Tony & I had a long (ish) talk about some stuff we've had on our minds.  I felt a million times better after said talk & I can only say today that I am thankful.  Thankful for all God has given me.  Thankful for my husband & children, friends & family, & having so many things that others aren't as fortunate to have.

I hope my husband knows how proud of him I am.  His job may seem insignificant to some (especially him) but in the big picture, he's doing something that so many aren't even able to do.  & although he isn't deployed, he's fighting for his country.  He leaves his family for days at a time (not months) but he still misses so much.  He's missed so much, as well, by me & the boys.  & I know his family in Baltimore misses him too.  He defends our country by sitting at a desk- not on some battlefield somewhere- but he's in the military.  He works hard.

He provides for his family.  He misses a million things while he's gone, new words that Cody learns or big smiles & kicks from Sawyer.  He leaves it all in my hands, trusting that I will do the best I can to manage the household, the kids, & LIFE without him for days.

I'm sure it's hard for him, as I know the two times I've been away from Cody have been hard for me.  He misses kisses & hugs, & watching Cody jump all over the dogs or try a new food he loves.

I am so very proud of him for what he does.  I hope he knows it.

Friday, January 21, 2011


One of my FAVORITE e*friends *may* be coming to visit us in the fall!  My friend Jamie, her husband Adam, & their son Ben might be coming out in October for deer hunting season, lol.  I would like all of you to PLEASE cross your fingers.

It's amazing to me how much some of my internet friends have come to mean to me, there's a select few whom I'm absolutely dying to meet, & obviously, Jamie is one of them.  This would be so freaking awesome, I can't even stand it.

I'm such a nerd, I'm all giddy just thinking that it might happen! & she's probably going to read this & think I'm a freak & cancel on me.  So let me shut my mouth & say goodnight.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

let's talk groceries.

Ever go grocery shopping with a toddler & a newborn?

When I was younger, I hated school.  When I joined the Navy, I hated my job, I hated where I was stationed EVERY TIME (then I transferred & you know what they say- your favorite duty station is always your last), and most of all, I hated running.

Well, I still hate school & I don't currently have a job to hate.  & I still hate running even though I REALLY want to run a marathon (random).

None of those things compare to how much I DESPISE grocery shopping with Cody & Sawyer.  Nine times out of ten, Cody is screaming in the giant car cart where navigating it is like steering a boat, Sawyer is crying because he's not in the mood to be worn or whatever.  I'm trying to bribe Cody with food & promises of better things, shhsh Sawyer & get him to calm down, all while navigating the boat as quickly as possible down the aisles to grab what we need & get the hell out of dodge.  We're knocking things over, stopping at random to look at the list & for me to open yet another string cheese or peel a clementine, & old people are looking at me like I'm THAT mom.

Today I made the list in order of where things are located at the grocery store.  Not sure why I hadn't thought to do that before- but IT WORKED.  Cody was only fussy maybe two times & Sawyer was racked out in the Jeep carrier.  It was *almost* good.  I won't call it blissful, but it was about the closest we'll get to a pleasant trip to the grocery store with the kids.

Sometimes, things just work.  & today at King Sooper was one of those times.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Maybe I'm a little over-sensitive...

The other day, I posted on facebook about how I wanted more followers for my blog.  It was a little ridiculous in retrospect, because people aren't going to read this if they don't want to, & really?  Who asks for followers?  I'm not THAT interesting.

Ahem.  Moving on.  I received a message on facebook from one of my friends who had gone through & read my entire blog when I posted the link.  Sweet, right?  Well, in her message she gave me a lot of information/advice about how I'm doing things with Cody, because I guess to her it seemed I was really struggling with him & I was overwhelmed.

Perhaps I do get overwhelmed.  & perhaps the Codester drives me up the wall from time to time.  He's a toddler.  & as much as I like this woman & respect her opinion (I mean that, woman, if you read this)- I found myself frustrated because I truly didn't think I spent that much time complaining about Cody.  & to read a line that says, "I know Cody is driving you crazy, but right now he needs you".  Pardon my French, but NO SHIT.  I give my entire life to that kid & Sawyer EVERY SINGLE DAY.  & I also find myself a little miffed to read that from someone who doesn't even HAVE CHILDREN.

& I'm all about advice from those who have experience & have been there, done that.  But reading that made me feel, for a split second at least, about two feet tall.  Because that little man is my world.  & I don't always feel like Mother of the Year- but NO ONE on this Earth will EVER love that kid like I love him.

With that, goodnight.  I'm off to attempt some sleep.

P.S.  If you followed my blog because I was whining about it & you truly didn't want to, I won't be offended if you stop following. :)

Tuesday, January 11, 2011


Tomorrow the new semester starts & I am DREADING it.  Not only am I still sick, but we are still trying to unpack & paint & get living in this house.  Tony trips in tomorrow, too, & I swear, with all of us sick, I have no idea how I'm going to get back into the swing of things, schoolwise.

Wish me luck.  I'm gonna need it.

Monday, January 10, 2011

I'm sick.

Like, on death's doorstep kind of sick.  And of course, Tony is in the field (and is the beginning stages of said sickness so I'm actually thankful he isn't home- because I CANNOT handle Man Colds- and for emphasis, this link:

So, I have nothing to report.  I can barely function with the boys right now.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

in trying to decide...

What I wanted to write about tonight, I realize I got nothin'.

It was a day.  Not good, not bad.

Tony goes to the field tomorrow.  So maybe tomorrow I'll have something to write about.

But for tonight, I'll leave you with this:

Friday, January 7, 2011


Man, I am so thankful for this bunch of women- & especially to my friend Rebecca for getting me involved.  Today we skipped the formal lifegroup session & socialized, which I totally needed.  I was able to vent some of the things that have been really weighing on me lately & through some tears & tea & muffins, I left feeling a little more at peace with myself.

I'm slowly learning that I can't make people happy.  People have to make themselves happy & no matter how hard I try, it's just wasting energy to do it.  I pray for certain people in my life who need to find their happy & need to learn to live for God instead of living while waiting for God to give them something.  I myself am bad at this- and only just now learning that I need to give all to Him so that I can live like no one else later (throwing a little Dave Ramsey in there too).

Anyway, thanks to them & some prayer that seemed pretty powerful to me (the girls prayed for me today with all that's going on in my life & some of the things I rarely talk about in my blog or elsewhere- you just don't need to know, haha)- I felt stronger for the rest of the day & even after some things that really upset me tonight, I know that I can handle it.

I wonder if these women will ever know how much I appreciate them, since I only really see them once a week & it's not like they call me when they need to vent- although I'd be MORE than happy to listen & try to help- but knowing that at least once a week I have a place to go where I can say how I feel & know that it will stay there, & have some snacks & prayer means the absolute world to me.  Truly.

It's amazing how fast life can change.  I'm so thankful for all the ways I'm blessed by the Lord & I can only hope that I can learn more & more to truly follow Him.
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