If it wasn't obvious before...

It is becoming clearer and clearer that Tony getting out of the Air Force is going to be our best decision.

Yesterday one of his supervisors asked Tony if he would reenlist if he could get Tony over to the Law Enforcement side of the base. Tony told him yes, so his supervisor went to the Senior and spoke to him about it. The Senior said his "hands were tied" and there was nothing they could do.

It amazes me that they don't care about losing an 11 year SSGT. We've tried just about all we can to make it work in the Air Force, and like I've said a million times, I'm scared to lose that cushion, but I KNOW my marriage won't survive if Tony stays in the missile field. There's no way.

And the idea of going to Baltimore is good, but so is staying in. Again, I wish I knew what the right decision was and what the right thing for our family is- but it sure seems like God is telling us to take the risk and leave the military.

I hate money.

I'm trying to get our budget back on track since we fell off the Dave Ramsey wagon. I'm having a hard time because we're trying to save as much as possible for the pending Baltimore move, but it's really hard to save when you don't really make enough to pay bills.

I'm so scared that we're not going to be able to pay our bills in Baltimore and I don't really know how to get any cheaper then we already are. I coupon like crazy, all of Cody and Sawyer's clothes are used, I buy in bulk and *most* of the time we eat at home and don't do anything that special. Of course I know there are places where I could improve. However, for the most part, we live pretty cheaply. I don't know what else to do.

I really hope that we get some answers soon about what our next step should be, and find a way to know what the right decisions are.

Air Force Ball.

Is tonight. I hope I look pretty instead of looking like a beached whale.

missing.

At almost 30, I can admit it:

I REALLY miss my mom. Yes, she pisses me off almost every time I talk to her, and the conversation about Baltimore went about as great as I predicted- but she's a good woman and I really, really, REALLY wish she were here to give me a big hug.

well.

Tony has decided not to interview for the vehicle section job. Honestly, it's not a job he would really enjoy, he only applied for it because it was a Mon-Fri job that would enable him to be home nightly and attend the flight school.

But he had a long talk with his parents yesterday and we've been doing a lot of thinking, and since he was assigned a test date with Baltimore County, we've decided to go for it.

We're both scared to not have that "cushion" of the military, but Tony would be staying National Guard and we'd conveniently have the help of his family since we'd be there with them anyway.

So in about 3 weeks, he's going to fly to Baltimore and test. If it goes well and the rest of the hiring process goes well, it would appear that we are getting out of the military and moving to Baltimore. I'm dreading telling my mother this information. It would be a heck of a lot easier if she just read this stupid blog, but seeing as how I only have a few followers who likely have better things to do than listen to me ramble on and on about this, I can't say I blame her for not reading.

So, fingers crossed that we're able to plan for this the right way and make it happen.

Also, let's hope I don't go into labor while Tony is in Baltimore. Because I will be 37 weeks pregnant. Yikes.

test date.

So Tony has an interview here on Thursday with the Vehicle Section, a potential Monday-Friday job that he has to do for 2 years if he is chosen.

He also has a test date for the Baltimore County Police Department on October 8.

Decisions, decisions. We're going to see what happens with the Vehicle Section. If they want him, he's going to take the job. If they don't, we'll buy a plane ticket for him to test in Baltimore next month.

Send us prayers and good thoughts, people. Thanks. :)

math makes me cry.

It's horrible.

I can't do any of it. I have NO idea how I'm going to pass this stupid class.

getting my hopes up.

I hate when I do this. I want so badly for something good to happen for us and both of us are so hopeful that this Baltimore thing might work out. I know it won't be perfect, but now that we've started discussing it, we can't stop talking about it. Tony left for the field today and has been texting me about it all morning. He's so tired of going to the field, and I'm so tired of being alone with Cody for 4 days at a time. We need our family together.

On the same note, I'm scared to death of not being in the military. It's all I've known since I was 13, and not having that cushion scares me- but people do it everyday. The good thing about Baltimore is that we would have family nearby for help.

My parents don't know about this yet, and I have a feeling it won't go over well. They are so rooted in the military, plus us being in Baltimore and not near them will likely upset my mom- but we have to do what is best for our family.

I'm trying so hard not to get too excited. I'd really love something to happen in our favor. Please keep us in your prayers.

Baltimore?

In a really short span of time, we've been attempting to make some life-altering decisions.

Currently my husband is in a dead-end job with the Air Force. Yes, he's got a guaranteed retirement check in 9 years. But if his job continues in the direction it is going, our marriage WILL NOT survive. He's miserable. I'm miserable. We both hate Cheyenne, and the luck we've had since moving here.

So somehow he found a piece of news on Baltimore County Police, who has a seemingly good program for Military folk. Last night we did a pros and cons list to us up and moving to Baltimore (assuming they want him to go to Baltimore and take the test). There was almost an equal number but I'm pretty sure both of us are leaning towards it anyway. I'd love to be closer to family (yes, it's Tony's family but it will ALWAYS be one or the other since our parents will never be close to each other geographically). The schools there have better programs for me. There's a whole list of crap but the main reason, honestly, is that our kids will grow up near family.

So Tony applied. Knowing our luck (ha, ha), they won't even consider him and we'll be stuck here anyway. But, if the off chance it happens that they want him to go to Baltimore and test, we're going to risk it. We only have 4 months to figure out what we're going to do, so unfortunately, time is NOT on our side.

There's so much to take in and do with it, but we have to do something. I'm really hoping God will show me the way, ASAP.

I'm over it.

And by 'it', I mean everything. Today was super crappy, following a series of super crappy days that make me wonder when things are going to look up.

I spent the better part of 3 days cleaning house and getting things prepared for Tony to come home, and the next day the house is trashed. He's always miserable and pissy because he hates his job and he's selfish and doesn't seem to realize how good he's truly got it.

Cody is fussy for what seems like no apparent reason, I'm sure there is one, but this age/phase he's going through of crying, throwing temper tantrums, hitting, and in general being a pain in the rear are wearing on me.

I had a doctor's appointment this morning, everything looked good. Then I went straight to the grocery store, went home, dropped off groceries, left for class, then after class I took a math exam (I only got a 75%, which added to the crap).

Then I come home and Tony's pissy. What else is new? He had to go into work for a night shoot thing on the range, which I would think wouldn't be that big of a deal, but of course he was all pissed about it.

I'm over the complaining. I'm over the whining. I'm over feeling like I never get a moment's peace. I'm over being all excited to see my husband after four days to him coming home and bitching for four days. I'm over this pregnancy, and scared to death on top of it.

I have no idea how I'm going to manage what I seem to have trouble with now, when there are two kids. I love this baby so very much, but I don't know how I'm going to handle him and Cody.

I just want to be proud of myself. I want my husband to be a little less selfish, and I want to do a good job raising my kids. Is that too much to ask?

First we had the truck issue. Then my computer. Then, most recently, the air conditioner goes out in the house in South Carolina. Then, I realize that I accidentally made two truck payments and I don't have the money in our account to cover both payments, plus the other two payments that had yet to come out.

Basically, everything sucks. I know whatever is going on is God's plan, but I could really use a break.

Really.

It's almost over!

32 weeks today.

what is He asking you to do?

To my Christian friends,

What is God asking you to do that you've been putting off because you think you need more time to pray about it or more power from Him? Chances are, he's already told you to "Go", because you don't need anything more than him behind you.

So get on it.

(and have a great day!)

Sinfully good.

You know that scene in 'Never Been Kissed' where Drew Barrymore is high and she's like, "Oh my God, someone ate my entire pie"!

That is me currently. Only the pie is a half loaf of Asiago Cheese Bread from the Farmers Market this morning. And I'm not even close to being high.

But what could be more delicious than this:


Few things, I tell you.

it's been a hot minute!

our truck died, and fluke of all flukes, it was the computer system which was not covered by our warranty. So, $1500 later, we got it back. And then my computer got a nasty virus. Thankfully, that didn't take very much money to fix, but things have been a little hectic.

Tony took leave so he's been home for like 12 days, which leaves even less time. Cody is saying "pease" now, which is the absolute CUTEST thing ever. I need to get it on video.

Anyway, I just wanted to let all three of my followers know what's going on, I will have lots of time this weekend to update and come up with something interesting and witty to talk about.