And by 'it', I mean everything. Today was super crappy, following a series of super crappy days that make me wonder when things are going to look up.
I spent the better part of 3 days cleaning house and getting things prepared for Tony to come home, and the next day the house is trashed. He's always miserable and pissy because he hates his job and he's selfish and doesn't seem to realize how good he's truly got it.
Cody is fussy for what seems like no apparent reason, I'm sure there is one, but this age/phase he's going through of crying, throwing temper tantrums, hitting, and in general being a pain in the rear are wearing on me.
I had a doctor's appointment this morning, everything looked good. Then I went straight to the grocery store, went home, dropped off groceries, left for class, then after class I took a math exam (I only got a 75%, which added to the crap).
Then I come home and Tony's pissy. What else is new? He had to go into work for a night shoot thing on the range, which I would think wouldn't be that big of a deal, but of course he was all pissed about it.
I'm over the complaining. I'm over the whining. I'm over feeling like I never get a moment's peace. I'm over being all excited to see my husband after four days to him coming home and bitching for four days. I'm over this pregnancy, and scared to death on top of it.
I have no idea how I'm going to manage what I seem to have trouble with now, when there are two kids. I love this baby so very much, but I don't know how I'm going to handle him and Cody.
I just want to be proud of myself. I want my husband to be a little less selfish, and I want to do a good job raising my kids. Is that too much to ask?
First we had the truck issue. Then my computer. Then, most recently, the air conditioner goes out in the house in South Carolina. Then, I realize that I accidentally made two truck payments and I don't have the money in our account to cover both payments, plus the other two payments that had yet to come out.
Basically, everything sucks. I know whatever is going on is God's plan, but I could really use a break.