Friday, April 5, 2013

'Hold Me Now'

I'm mostly going to skip over Boyfriend #2.  I can't really remember many significant details about him other than his name, & the fact that the first time I ever skipped school, got drunk, or attempted pot for the first time- he was with me.  I became a smoker during our relationship.  We dated for a long time but truly, I'm not sure why.  When I left Hawaii we never spoke again & I only know that's he's doing okay because of the unfortunate luck that he's related to people I'm related to (through marriage, we were never doing the whole "kissing cousins" thing).

Boyfriend #3, however, had a HUGE influence on my life.

Once I'd made the decision to join the Navy & became part of the Delayed Entry Program, I spent a disturbing amount of time at the recruiters office.  I'd answer phones, listen to old sea stories, & in general pretend like I was a cool Navy girl.

I wasn't.

Boyfriend #3 & his older sister were both joining the Navy.  One day I was outside smoking with his sister & she said, "you should go out with my brother."  So I did.  My friend Alicia (who later became my sister) &  I went on a double date- 4 potential Navy folks, all in the DEP program.  We went to see 'The Waterboy' which I think is the second worst Adam Sandler movie (followed only by Billy Madison, mostly because I HATED the baby talk & the penguin).  That was in November of 1998, & we were an INSTANT couple.  It took about 30 seconds for us to fall in love.  I mean, we fell HARD.

Once I met the rest of his family I fell head over heels all over again.  He had (has) the most amazing, thoughtful parents ever & I loved his sister dearly.  Their home was so cozy & everyone was so warm & they had these 3 beautiful dogs & I couldn't imagine anything bad ever happening when I was around them.

Later on I realized that my obsession with the strong family unit never went away.  My most important relationships revolved around the boys families.  I know it has to do with my family- we're all a big 'ol mess & we love each other, but I never had the stable 'one mom, one dad, brothers & sisters' thing growing up.

Anyway.  He was so very passionate about his love for the Navy & wanting to do aviation in the Navy- he'd wanted to do it all his life.  He was so talented & funny & sweet & I really just loved him.

Three months later, on February 13th, 1999, he took me to Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs & asked me to marry him.  He'd done the correct thing by asking my parents beforehand (who said yes only because they knew if they'd have said no I'd probably have run away with him anyway).  It was a beautiful & idyllic proposal- one every girl dreams of & of course I said yes.  After all, we were so madly in love & we were going to be together forever.

We were so innocent.  So very young.  He left for boot camp like a week later & then a week or two after that, I left for boot camp on March 2, 1999.  We just knew that after boot camp we'd find a way to be together & somehow get stationed together everything would be just perfect.

It wasn't.  Turns out he ended up getting medically separated for reasons I won't mention- it's not my place.  I made it through boot camp with no problems, he didn't.  I think no matter how proud he was of me that he still resented me a little because I passed with flying colors.  He took a bus from Colorado to Illinois for my boot camp graduation.  He stayed in the hotel room with my mom & my granny & we got into an argument during liberty weekend.  He was so affectionate, you see, & I'd spent the last two months having next to NO physical contact & honestly, it weirded me out.  I just wasn't comfortable with him for the first time ever & I didn't know how to react.

It all blew over though.  I went home to walk in my high school graduation & after, drove from Colorado to Texas with him next to me.  We talked about where I'd get stationed, how he'd come with me wherever I went & we'd get married & live our happy little lives.

He didn't come with me though.  & we didn't live our happy little lives.

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