Saturday, April 6, 2013

The Army Boy.

When I got to Dental Tech "A" School, I was still engaged to Boyfriend #3.  It took me about .2 seconds to realize that I was NOT old enough or anywhere near ready to be married.  While Boyfriend #3 was an amazing guy, I couldn't see myself settling down & living "happily ever after" at the ripe old age of 18.

& if I'm being honest, there were SO MANY CUTE BOYS.  My school was on an Air Force base, but they managed to have every branch of the military on this base, & my school alone was Navy, Air Force, & Army.

So, instead of leading him on or being a crappy girl, I broke his heart.  I did it over the phone since I was in Texas & he in Colorado.  I was on a pay phone outside my barracks room in the hallway, telling him that I just wasn't ready.

I felt like shit.  He was so torn & dejected.  Not only did he lose his planned career in the Navy, but now he'd lost the girl he loved.  I'd like to say that I had a lot of guilt over it & waited a long time before moving on, but I didn't.  It's only in the last 7 or 8 years that I have REAL remorse over how I went about it.  He was truly a good man (still is) & I'm thankful to know that he's happily married now with a handful of adorable kids.

But back to the cute boys.  While in the "A" school- the three months I was there I dated one boy, but I had a special fleeting moment with an Army boy. I'll tell the story of the boy I dated in another post, as it sets up a story for Tony & I, EIGHT years later.

He was so cute.  He had pretty eyes & nice forearms (I've always had a weird thing for forearms, haha).  He was in my friend Brandy's class, which meant he was about a month behind me in school.  We were both the picture of innocence, & I have no doubt that we acted a lot tougher than we actually were.

I think I was a big jerk in school.  I wanted attention & if I didn't get it from one boy, I'd move on to the next.  I acted like I was so special when in reality I was a scared little fish in a big 'ol sea.  The Navy opened doors & things I'd never ever imagined.

I don't remember a lot of our conversations, but I do remember Brandy telling me that he really liked me.  I couldn't understand why he didn't pursue me even though I knew he liked me, after all, I was cool, right?  With my bad eyebrows & cigarettes, spouting off about how great the Dave Matthews Band was...

We ended up on a bench outside of the barracks one night & we kissed.  It was a really good kiss.  Again, I don't remember a lot of our conversations, but I'll NEVER forget that kiss.  Even now, if I meet someone with his name, I smile.  We became friends on facebook awhile back & every time he likes my status or a picture or something ridiculous, I smile.  I dated someone in Japan with the same first name with a few striking similarities & I still wonder if that was coincidence or not.

Years & years later, he told me that I was officially his first "successful" kiss & that he'd compared kisses to mine for a long time after that.  I was very flattered.  He also told me that he wrote a poem about me but never got the nerve to give it to me.

I asked him why he didn't pursue me or try to make a relationship out of our brief moment & he told me it was because of his low self esteem.  I found it really unfortunate because I'm fairly certain I liked (even still do) him better than the other boy that I dated.  True story.

It's probably a good thing he didn't.  I was a brat who thought I was entitled to everything.  I acted like a ridiculous little girl instead of a woman, I cussed like you wouldn't believe & never showed anyone the way I REALLY was for fear of being laughed at.  He probably wouldn't have liked me very much if I'd have shown him my true self.  I ended up transferring to England & all those years ago, I was fickle & my mind changed a lot.  I broke a number of hearts for years after but I got mine broke more often than not.

It's nice to think about what might have been though, & I'll never forget our special kiss on that bench.

(& I still wish I could read that poem...)

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