Sunday, August 21, 2011

Gearing Up.

This week is going to be hectic.  I start school tomorrow, Sawyer starts with a new sitter, & I should find out about the job I interviewed for last week.

The whole job thing is stressing me out.  Just when Tony & I decided I was going to go to school to finish, I finally picked something I think will be good for us degree-wise, Boeing calls me for an interview.  There are pros & cons to each thing.  IF I were to get the job at Boeing, we would have money.  Right now we're struggling financially & unless I get financial aid or student loans, we can't afford for me to go to school full time & pay for daycare.

If I don't get the job at Boeing, I will continue with school- assuming we get financial aid & student loans.  This would set us up for the future, but not knowing what exactly is going to happen is super stressful in itself.

I'm actually looking forward to starting school tomorrow- I'm scared of the A&P class & nervous about Biology, but for the first time since I started school, I actually feel like I'm going in with a purpose rather than going for the money from the GI Bill.  I'm actually working towards something & I really think if I put my mind to it, I'll be able to handle it.

Part of me hopes I'll get the job.  Part of me hopes I don't.  I can only hope that no matter what direction I take, I'll be making the right decision for myself & my family.

This morning at church they talked about taking off our masks to become the person God wants us to be.  This is part of the sermon series called 'The Masquerade' & it was the third sermon about it- but today's got me more than the other two & I was crying in my seat.  I'm so afraid that I'm not following Christ with all my heart & I'm not even sure how to do that as it is.  I'm thankful that here in a few weeks I'll be going to the new lifegroup called 'The Foundation,' which is basically like a beginners course or refresher to Christianity.  Since I didn't grow up in the church I have a feeling I'm going to learn a lot.  I'm also excited to continue with the Military Moms Lifegroup, since I love those girls.

This week I'm praying for strength & patience, & a heart open to the word of God as I start a new chapter.  Prayers for my family & the upcoming challenges would be highly appreciated.

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