& so it begins.

I did a post almost 2 years ago called 'I hope he knows'.
http://anchoredintheairforcelife.blogspot.com/2011/01/i-hope-he-knows.html

I want to say I'm even more proud of him today then I was then.  Almost two years, & he's changed SO much.  He continues to provide for his family, he's learned so much (as have all of us) & is continuing to do so despite what an awful day it is.

Tony left today for Kirtland AFB in Albuquerque, New Mexico.  His estimated graduation day is June 16, 2013.  We will be able to see him occasionally since it's only about an 8 hour drive.  However, he will not be here for the day-to-day, in & out stuff that happens.

He won't see the boys everyday or see them grow.  Thanks to technology, he'll be able to see them frequently via skype.  But he won't be here to see how silly Cody is or what kind of mischief Sawyer is getting in to.  He won't see his dogs, who are already moping around.

I know this isn't a deployment & I have friends who deal with that all the time.  For us, this is only the beginning of very frequent separations once we head to Florida & he'll be off doing secret squirrel missions he can't tell anyone about.  It's the beginning of the journey.

Once again, I'm alone with the boys.  I welcome this change because I know he's doing it to better this place we live in.  Our country is in a very unstable time & things are very scary on our own homeland.  I won't go into a politics talk since I don't do that, but I will say that I pray every day for good things to happen to our country.  I don't see them happening now.

Tony is my own personal hero.  He's a great father, a good husband, & I know he'll kick some serious ass (excuse my language) as a Flight Engineer on the V-22 Osprey.  I'm SO very proud of him & all he's accomplished.  Thank you Tony for all you do.  I love you & I know you'll do amazing things.

Day Eight

30 Things my kids should know, day 8.

What are 5 passions you have?
in no particular order.

1.  My family.  Every single person in this family drives me crazy, but I wouldn't trade a soul for all the money in China.

2.  Music.  If it weren't for music, I wouldn't be the person I am today.  I can't imagine not knowing or loving the music that's influenced my life.

3.  Lip Gloss.  What can I say?  I love it.

4.  My friends.  I'm not always the greatest friend & sometimes I stink at keeping in touch, but MAN, do I love my friends.  I know some of the most amazing people & I'm SO thankful for every single one of them.

5.  God.  This one is new to me.  I've always been a believer, but my faith in Christ has grown by leaps & bounds the last few years.  He is so good & I'm SO blessed.

Day Seven

30 things my kids should know about me, day 7.
What is your dream job, & why?

I wish this were an easy question for me to answer.  There are a few things I've always wanted to do, in no particular order:

1. Be a radio personality.  I always wanted to be a DJ so that I could play awesome music since music is one of the most important things in my life.

2.  I would LOVE to be a forensics lab tech.  I'll be starting school again in the next month or two to get my degree in Criminal Justice with a concentration on forensics.  I think it would be awesome to process crime scenes without having to be an actual police officer.

3.  I always wanted to be a mom.  I dreamed of being a stay at home mom with unwavering patience, the ideal "soccer mom" that made cookies, cleaned house, & toted the kids everywhere in my minivan.  Turns out I am a stay at home mom, but I have practically NO patience with my kids, I can't bake at all, & I don't have a minivan.  I love my kiddos more than anything but I feel as though I'm failing more often than not, lol.  But they're alive at the end of the day so I must be doing something right!

Day Six

30 Things my Kids Should Know about me, day 6.

If you could have 3 wishes, what would you wish for?

1.  I'd wish for my boys to grow up strong, healthy, God loving men who aren't afraid to pray & rely on God for the things that REALLY matter.

2.  I'd wish for an unbreakable, fantastic relationship with my husband.  Fortunately, we're (for the most part) on this path already!

3.  I'd wish for a buyer for my house.  Because it's taking too long, dangit!

Day Five

30 Things My Kids Should Know about me, Day 5.
What are 5 things that would make you most happy right now?

I have a feeling these are going to come off as selfish, so be it.  I know we should be happy & thankful with what we have & generally, I am- but this is one of those days & that's just the way it is.

1.  To be out of debt.  It scares me daily that we struggle so much just to pay our bills & that payday isn't until next week & there's only $7.95 in our account right now.  I'm scared that we'll never catch up & that it's going to bite us in the butt later for making such crap decisions.  99% of my stress comes from our finances.

2.  To magically lose 15 lbs.  40 down, 15 to go- & they're harder than the last 40!

3.  To find out what it is that I really want to do with my life.  I wish I were one of those people that knew what I wanted to be or do, but alas, I'm not & at 31, I STILL don't know.

4.  To have a buyer for this house.  That would eliminate a good chunk of our debt & help with my stress level.  It's a good house.  I know it needs some work, but MAN, it's got SO much potential.

5.  To be better at actually playing with my boys.  I find that I really stink at getting down & playing with them, & I'm trying to make it a point to do that every. day.

Day Four

Day 4 of 30 things my kids should know about me:
List 10 things you would tell your 16 year old self, if you could.

(looking oh-so-cool in my bedroom)

1.  YOU ARE NOT FAT.  Stop thinking it.  You are beautiful, healthy, & you deserve amazing things.

2.  Don't be afraid to join the Navy.  It will change your life & you won't regret it for a second once it's over.

3.  Boys do, in fact, have cooties.  Don't let yourself think you love every boy you meet, most of them are jerks & you'll regret having so much as held their hand.

4.  Don't feel like you're too cool for sports or achieving.  You'll regret having barely scraped by later, when you meet people who excelled in sports & you sat around listening to 90's grunge pretending to be a cool skateboarding chick.

5.  Don't feel bad for that rave you went to where you got busted & your parents grounded you for a really long time.  It was an experience you will look back on & laugh.  Plus, your hair looked REALLY good that night.

6.  Listen to your mom.  As much as you hate it, she's smart, has been through all you've been through (times ten) & later, you'll miss the relationship you have now because you'll lose a lot of your closeness.

7.  Try to pay attention in Spanish class.  When you turn 30, you'll regret not remembering ANY of it, especially with the way the world is now.

8.  That move to Colorado?  It wasn't as bad as you thought.  You got out of a situation where you probably would have gone nowhere with your life.  Thank your mom for it.

9.  Stop smoking.  It's not cool & you'll hate how hard it is years later to quit.

10.  Did I mention YOU'RE NOT FAT?!?!?!

Day Three

Describe your Relationship With your Spouse

Tony & I have been together almost six years.  While I find him to be a stubborn, selfish, absolute pain in the rear, I can't imagine having a better husband or father for my children.

In the last few years, we've gone through a number of problems.  We've experienced the loss of a child, separation, financial difficulty, & a multitude of amazing things too.

He's a genius.  He doesn't always use it to the best of his ability- but he's so smart I feel like an idiot around him sometimes.  He's done something new & is learning about his new job which is something I can't even imagine.

Our relationship is good, I think, for the most part.  We love God, each other, our children, & we are working towards creating a beautiful life together.

I'm thankful that my mother in law convinced me to ask him to marry me, & I'm thankful he said yes.  I'm thankful that he pursued me in the way he did, & that I was willing to listen.

Our life together is far from perfect, but the fact that we're able to think of things at the same time, & the way we can finish each other's sentences, the way we tend to feel the same about all the important things, & the awesome model we have for marriage in my in laws (over 30 years!), tells me that we've got a good thing going.